Starcrossed lovers

Have you read Twilight or seen the movie? Unless you have been hiding under a rock you know it is the story of a human girl and a vampire who fall in love.  The “lion fell in love with the lamb.” I have now watched it… well let’s just say several times since I bought the movie last weekend. I read the book back in November, I usually insist on reading the book before I see the movie.

At it’s core is a love story. A story of star crossed lovers. A couple who despite everything around them that tells them they shouldn’t be together, they cannot stay away from each other. I am a sucker for that kind of story.

My junior year in high school we were supposed to choose a poem written by a black author for english class. Then we were supposed to explain the symbolism and significance of the poem. There were some great poems chosen about slavery, war, the loss of a child but can you guess what I chose? I chose a romantic poem. The problem was, once it was time for me to present my poem there wasn’t a whole lot to say. Oh I tried to play it up like “love is universal, in any  culture” but really there wasn’t a deep meaning.

Why do I bring this up now you ask? Well I am sitting here, watching the movie… again. Because I still love romance. Despite spending ten years married to a man who believed in romancing women who weren’t his wife.  A few years into our marriage one of ex’s girlfriends from high school told him she believed they were destined to be together. A few years after that I was told that I was standing in the way of fate by the mother of ex’s first illegitimate child (not new wife). Apparently they weren’t his destiny or fate.

Despite all that, I am still a hopeless romantic. Even though I know the guy will get the girl in the end I still look forward to the newest romantic comedy. I still cry at sappy scenes. And I still expect the man in the white hat to beat the man in the black hat. Even though I know it doesn’t always work that way in real life.

I have never given up home that my prince will come on his white horse and carry me away. Ex could not take that away from me. Maybe he even gave me back my chance to believe.

A night 19 years in the making

When I was in 8th grade the New Kids on the Block came to the local concert arena and I didn’t get to go. I was devastated. Like every other girl between the ages of 10 and 18, my walls were plastered with posters from the pages of Teen Beat magazine. They were the original boy band and before I had even kissed a boy I was certain that I was destined to marry Joey.

Soon after that their popularity began to wane and as I graduated from high school the group eventually disbanded.  And life moved on. Every once and awhile I would hear one of their songs on the radio and smile.  Joey and Jordan released solo albums that didn’t go anywhere and the boys were often the butt of jokes. Ex would always say “oh my wife still loves them,” and as everyone laughed I would simply smile and say, “they will always be the best boy band.”

A year ago the papers were signed and I was officially single again. A few months later an email arrived from my friend – “the New Kids are going to be on the Today Show.” I watched as they announced on live TV that they were getting back together.  They were older but so was I. It was like seeing an old friend. You may call it a coincidence but I will always know they came back to soothe my broken heart.

Then several weeks ago they added a stop in my city to their tour. I began looking for someone to go with me but for one reason or another it didn’t work out. Then last week an idea began to take seed in my thoughts – I could take my daughter. I worked out the logistics for the other kids but still I hadn’t bought tickets. I decided that Monday morning (two days before the concert) I would go to the box office and see what I could find, on a whim I checked ticketmaster. The tickets they offered were on the floor, in Row L – that’s the 12th row!! Immediately I began to jump through the VISA verification hoops to claim my tickets.

And last night I lived a dream that had gone unfulfilled 19 years ago. Together with my daughter I stood and danced. I screamed and cheered. I stood on my chair and caught the eye of Joey who blew me a kiss. And when it was all over. When the last encore had been sung, when the confetti had floated to the ground and the stage was empty, my heart was soaring. 

I was the same girl I was in high school. I walked out of the coliseum with the realisation that girl wasn’t far away. Sure I’ve been kissed, can buy beer legally and have kids. But my life is in front of me. A life just waiting for me to start living. So in the words of my favorite song from last night…… well I guess it’s a brand new day after all… every time we hear the curtain call…  tonight… la la la la la tonight…

Not.freaking.out

I am trying very hard not to freak out but I’m afraid it just isn’t working.

I have invited Hunter and his boys to have dinner with me and the girls. I’m not sure how it happened exactly. It just kind of did. The proverbial brady bunch will be having dinner here on Thursday.

I want to prove to Hunter he misses having a woman take care of him. I want to show him I am a great cook. I want to show him how good I am with his kids. I want to remind him how nice it is to have someone to talk to at the end of the day (yes we do that via phone now but in person is different.) And I want him to see how well our kids get along.

No pressure or anything right? HELP!!

Snow days and sunburn

I need the sun. My skin is pasty white and dry. The kids are stuck inside. And the days end way too early.

This weekend instead of sunlight the east coast has been blanketed in snow. The snow started Sunday night and by the time it was done there was 12 inches outside my backdoor.  Of course I wasn’t at my house any longer because we had lost power. The girls and I escaped - first to my parents house, then to the house of a friend who has a generator.

In my little country town we just aren’t prepared for snow. Today, Thursday, was the first day the kids have been to school all week, my power has been going on and off and my office didn’t even open until noon Wednesday. Hunter was out most of the day on Monday and Tuesday pulling people out of ditches and helping friends get their generators running. On Wednesday I even talked to Home Run Hitter – he was out helping people dig out.

This morning as things are finally getting back to normal I walk out to my car and find I have a flat tire. Now after three days of sitting at home, going stir crazy, dealing with sick kids – this flat tire was close to being the straw that broke my back. Instead I called my mechanic and he came out to my house. That’s right he came out, pumped up my tire and followed me back to his shop. It took him 20 minutes to patch up my tire and I was on my way. Crisis averted.

Spurred on by this small victory I decided to fight. If the sun wouldn’t come to me, I was going to it. So during my lunch I stole away to bask in the eerie glow of the fake sun. Great now I have snow and sunburn, seriously!

Forces of Nature

Saturday night I was out with friends.  At the second place we went to, as we were heading inside a car literally almost runs into me and lays on the horn. It’s Hunter, he’s out with some friends.

This just confirms that he and I are two forces of nature that are just drawn together. The other thing that seems to be coming clearly into focus is that he and I are destined to be good friends. There for each other, depending on each other, needing each other, sharing the same circles. Friends. A friend I cannot imagine my world without.