August 26, 2008
I think I’ll go to Boston,  I think I start a new life,  
I think I’ll start it over, where no one knows my name… 
I think I’ll go to Boston, I think that I’m just tired,
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind…

A few years ago my brother had a bad break up and he moved to Boston.  He got a fresh start.  Several years before that a friend of mine decided to go back to law school and she went to Long Island.  She got her fresh start.  I envy them.

I need fresh start.  After 10 years of an unhealthy marriage and a painful divorce I need a fresh start.   The difference is, I’m a single mother with my children depending on me.  Please don’t get me wrong, I love my kids but there are days that it’s overwhelming.  There are so many changes I want to make but it’s complicated. 

I have lived in the same small town since I was 4.  I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me and my business.  As a social person I enjoy running into people I know, I have a lot of friends.  But sometimes it can be suffocating.  Recently I dated a guy I have known since middle school and when it didn’t work out it created some awkward situations.

Maybe it’s because of the great time I had with the New York City firefighters I have this romantic idea of moving to New York City and getting a fresh start.  Moving to a big city where no one knows me and starting over.  People who didn’t know me when I was so overweight, people who don’t know about my divorce, people who don’t know who my father is.

I’m not moving.  I can’t move, my kids are happy here, my parents are close by to help with the kids and my ex is close enough to take the kids on the weekends.  But there are times I think about it, dream about it, what I could do if this responsibility didn’t sit on my shoulders.


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