A little help please

October 28, 2008

I have these friends E & F.  A few years ago E left F for another man.  I have remained friends with both of them.  In our small town it’s hard not to run into people and this is the second year our children have had the same teacher. 

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked if she could set me up with a single father she knew.  I told her I wasn’t dating but she started talking about him anyway.  Eventually I was like, “are you talking about F?  I am friends with both of them and that would make things pretty complicated.”  And I let the subject drop.  I mentioned it to E and she said “oh, yes, you and F should go out.”  I laughed it off but I’m pretty sure she was serious.

Anyway, I had run into F at a social event a week or two before that.  I had been at my father’s side, shaking hands, meeting people, etc.  When I ran into F, I took the opportunity to stand and talk with him and the friends he was with, to get a breather for a minute.  We had fun talking and the conversation progressed to the “we should get together sometime” phase but thankfully one of my father’s handlers snagged me before it got much further. 

Fast forward to last Wednesday.  My cell phone rang while I was at a meeting.  It was a number I didn’t recognise, so I stepped out and answered it.  It was F, he was asking me a question about the school event on Thursday night.  I didn’t know the answer, so I told him I’d call him later.  I did and we talked for at least 20 minutes, again it was a fun, easy conversation.

Then at the event on Thursday I saw him several times, from across a crowded room, we never did get to talk.  But I did run into the friend who had wanted to set us up.  She said, “hey, F called me for your number.  I asked him if he had finally worked up the courage to ask you out, he said he just had a class question.”  Alright, F called my friend to get my phone number to ask me a question about the school event that my friend could easily have answered?  Interesting.

So this leads to my question.  What would you think about me dating F?  I was friends with both of them, which may make things awkward.  E left F and she is very happy with her new guy (who accompained her to said school event.)  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m worried over nothing because unless he asks me out, I have no intention of pursuing things myself.  However in the conversation it came up that we were both without children Halloween weekend.  So tell me your thoughts.  Please…



  1. It all depends on who F is… And if he’s the type of guy to send CARNATIONS instead of white Ecuadorian roses…

  2. It looks like no one seems to have an issue about it. Maybe you’re the only one who thinks its wierd?

  3. If you’re still not sure, maybe you should ask E again. Tell her that your friendship is important and you don’t want F to get in the way of it. If she says go for it, then listen to her 🙂

  4. I’d ask E if she were serious about that and if she were okay with it.

  5. Well, it depends on how long they were together and how serious they were about each other.

    I have fixed my friends up with exes before, and have thought nothing of it. But there are my other exes that if I learned that one of my friends was dating… regardless of what I tell my girlfriend, the knowledge of it would just kill me inside. Like the father of my daughter, for example. Or my ex-husband, for that matter. It all depends on how much of an emotional attachment there was, I guess.

    I would say that if there was relatively very little emotional attachment between E and F, he should be fair game. Beyond that, I would steer clear of him, in the romance department anyway.

  6. I agree with April. Ask your friend again, and make sure she knows you’re serious. The fact that you are friends with him changes things a bit (in your favor) in my opinion. But if your friendship with her is important, that’s where you need to start.

  7. Do you have the sort of close relationship with the X that would be harmed should you date him? If not, you aren’t dating… just enjoying some company.

  8. uh, and instead, you ended up with us! UGH

  9. […] my friends F & E? I have decided F needs a name because you will probably be hearing about him in the future, so […]

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