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My Nights in Rodanthe

November 2, 2008

My plans for tonight fell threw, so I took myself to the movies.  I have been meaning to go see Nights in Rodanthe for quite some time.  I love Nicholas Sparks writing and I read the book while I was at the lake in August.  Basically the main character had recently been left by her husband.  She spends four nights falling in love with a stranger at the beach.  The next few months they correspond via love letters, planning their future together.  But before he can return to her, he is killed.

Ten years is a long time to stay in an unhealthy relationship.  Over the years I had begun to believe what ex would say.  No man but ex would ever put up with me.  No man but ex would ever be as good to me as he was.  No other man could ever love me.  Somehow I allowed myself to be convinced I was unlovable.  I didn’t love myself and that is perhaps the worst part.  The way I allowed him to rob me of my sense of self worth.  I lost myself and that is the greatest loss a person can suffer.

I see the two weeks I spent at the lake in August as my Nights in Rodanthe.  Only I wasn’t falling in love with a man, I was falling in love with myself.  I remembered why I deserved to be loved.  I remembered all the great things about me, all I have to offer.  I remembered the teenage girl who sat on the beach with her whole life ahead of her and began to get to know her again.

Soon after the divorce I adopted the mantra Don’t Settle, to remind myself I wouldn’t accept less than I deserved again.  But I think the main character said it best when she explained the love she had found to her daughter.  “There’s a kind of love that makes you feel that anythings possible.  I want you to know that you can have that.”  And I can have that.

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4 comments

  1. It took me a long time to realize that one of the reasons my marriage failed was because I too settled. My ex made me feel good about myself and my low self-esteem lead me to believe that he was the only one that could ever want me. Fortunately, I came out of the marriage realizing that I was underestimating myself. I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life than settle again.

    I’ve sworn off Nicholas Sparks. His books are too depressing. I need to read happy, happy books even if they are unrealistic!!


  2. I have wanted to see that movie.

    I like your blog…. and thanks for the comment on mine. 🙂


  3. I am glad you’ve had such positive affirmations of yourself as it’s so true! Keep up the great attitude!


  4. A big hell yeah on that blog entry! I wish I could fall in love with myself, just a little bit.



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