November 12, 2008

To the left, to the left…

Have you heard this song by Beyonce? Irreplaceable?  Basically she is throwinng her cheating boyfriend out.  Asking if he really thought he was irreplaceable.  She says “I can have other you by tomorrow, so don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you are irreplaceable.” And as a woman who has been cheated on and thrown her husband out I loved it, at first.

One of the reasons I identify with many single mothers out there is we were all married to the same guy.  He cheated on us, abused us – physically or emotionally, had an addiction.  They may not share a name but they share a pattern of behavior, the same language.  Often he convinced us we were the problem, if only we worked harder he could be better.  And eventually we walked away, the final straw is different for each of us but it was broken.  Because this guy is easy replaced.

So as I have listened to this song something has begun to bother me.  And now I have put my finger on it.  I don’t want another guy like him.  I want a guy who treats me with respect.  I want a guy who can pick up the check at dinner.  I want a guy who sends flowers.  I want a guy who comes home at night and is happy to spend time together.  I want a guy to hold me when I’ve had a bad day and laugh with me at the good times.  I want a guy who is irreplaceable.



  1. Well said. We all want a guy who is irreplaceable. One of my greatest fears regarding dating is that I will fall into the same traps and make the same mistakes all over again. Old habits die hard. It’s a frightening prospect.

  2. I like the new Beyonce Song too..”If I were a boy.” Its like a total Whitney Houston flashback, but total girl power too. I think I need to get over the fear of failing again before I can try to find someone “irreplaceable”

    I agree with the “we all married the same man” line. They all spoke Asshole as their language.

  3. YES! This is awesome. Self-fulfilling prophecy – keep writing it mama.

  4. I couldn’t have said that better myself. I don’t like to hear about other people’s suffering but it’s nice to know that I am not alone. When I finally get away, I won’t be replacing him with anyone. It’s all about me and kiddies….Have a great day…Wonderful post.

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