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Out of my comfort zone

November 25, 2008

I love this city. I love Boston. Saturday night I went out dancing with my brothers. Sunday we all had brunch together at this great place on Charles St.

Today I was on my own. I shopped on Boylston Street, walked around the streets.  And then I stood at the entrance of the T. Armed with my brother’s monthly T pass I headed down underground. I stood for a moment at the map on the wall, trying to decide where I would go. Secure in the knowledge that if I screwed up and got completely lost I could always just hail a cab. Naturally I went to Fenway. I waited for the right train. Here is where I ended up.

fenway01

Tonight my brother had a dinner with his team from work.  He suggested a bar up the street where I could have dinner.  That meant I would be having dinner alone, in public. Now this may not seem like that big a deal to you but to me it’s practically unheard of.  I walked the blocks to the bar and looked in the window.  And then I kept walking.  I got several blocks away and began giving myself a pep talk.  I could do this.  Then I looked up and in front of me was a fire house and my memories of the firemen came flooding back.

Now perhaps these events don’t seem like a big deal to you. For me they were huge. Remember I am a country girl, public transportation is completely foreign to me and eating alone is done at home.  But one of the things I really wanted to do here was stretch myself, try new things.  I wanted to experience life in a real city.

One of the things that was destroyed in my marriage was my confidence. This reared it’s head recently surprising one of my friends, “you always have it so together, I’ve never seen you like this.” The thing is I fake it well. 

But you are never going to learn new things unless you try new things.  So I got on the T.  I walked in the door of the bar.  I stepped out of my comfort zone. Alone.

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5 comments

  1. You should be proud of yourself!


  2. Woo hoo you go girl! I hated walking into ritzy clubs/bars/restaurants alone. I’m sure you rocked it.


  3. P.S. My dorm was on Boylston St.


  4. I’m proud of you; I know how hard this kind of thing is for you. I hope you’re having a great time!


  5. […] with most of the rest of my family. Last year it was just me and I spent some time with my brother in Boston before heading out to my grandmother’s house for the actual […]



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