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My day of thanks

November 28, 2008

Today we went around the room talking about what we were thankful for. And the talk inevitably turned to my grandfather who passed away 2 1/2 years ago.  My grandmother says, “I am selfish but I want him here with me.”  My grandparents were the cool grandparents. Whenever they came to visit our lives were packed full of fun trips, eating out and bountiful shopping sprees. 

In the end he had a series of strokes. Eventually it became apparent that he was near the end.  My mother and I made the 12 hour drive praying the entire way that we made it before he passed away.  We did but he never regained consciousness. I sat at his beside for 14 hours a day for the next few days.  I sat at his beside and held his hand and talked. I was separated from ex and I babbled on about it. I read to him from the Bible. I cried and I laughed. Sometimes there were others there but often it was just the two of us.

There were times when I was certain he was there listening to me. And there were others when I was afraid he was already far away. But there was one time in particular I was talking about my life, musing out loud about how much I had screwed up my life, the tears began to flow and I stood to get a tissue.  Grampy wouldn’t let go of my hand, he was holding my hand.  So I sat back down and just cried. Because no matter how far away my grandfather was, he was going to prove to me that he was still there for me.

Not even death could steal his ability to comfort me.  This summer at the lake, sitting on the beach I could hear him telling me it was time to move on. Yes, my heart had been broken. Yes, being a single mother was hard. But it was time for my life to move forward.  Without him there would be no summer home, no summer property to restore my soul.

I am grateful for all my grandfather did for me as a child, as an adult and the wheels he set in motion to care for me today. Like my grandmother I am selfish, I long to have him here. Today I give thanks that I had a Grampy who loved me with all that he was and gave me all that he had.

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4 comments

  1. My Oupa (Grandfather) Mike died last December… my Ouma (Grandmother) has not left the room since… 😦


  2. That was so touching. I’m so glad he could squeeze your hand to let you know he was listening. I had a similar experience with my grandmother. Your lucky to have had someone who loved you so much. You honored his memory sharing this story.


  3. Beautifully written. 🙂


  4. Tears welled up a bit reading your story about your grandfather. Thanks for sharing it.



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