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Alone

January 7, 2009

I don’t have to tell you that one of the hardest parts of being a single mom is the night, right before you fall asleep, lying in bed, alone.  Sunday night in attempt to ward off the pain of my son being gone I let my girls curl up in bed with me.  We lay there, the three of us in our fleece pajamas and I stroked their hair as they drifted off to sleep.

And then it was me. All alone with my thoughts. No one to hold me close, stroke my hair and tell me everything would be alright.

Being a single mother you learn to rely on yourself a lot. And I have a great support system. I have my parents, my friends, my blogger friends. When I need someone to talk to I pick up the phone or start typing, usually.

It’s just these moments, in bed. When I reach across to the other pillow that’s empty. When I long to pour out my heart and be held by someone who loves me. When I dream wistfully for my happily ever after.

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4 comments

  1. wow, that’s is heart breaking…I don’t have any kids, but my other side of my bed is empty to..Didn’t use to be..But ofcourse it turned out that way….The only thing that keeps me sane when I get home to my lonely house is my 2 dogs beleive or not!! I hope it gets better soon!!!


  2. That pillow is just waiting for a head that’s good enough to lay upon it. In due time…


  3. There are also times when being alone can be peaceful. I agree with you that sometimes it’s nice to have someone there with you so you can back up into them and feel less lonely.

    But there’s something to be said for those nights when you’re alone, and happy.


  4. Sing it sistah! I’m getting to the point where I just can’t take that empty space anymore.



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