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The camping fallout

May 6, 2009

I knew it was coming. It started the moment I drove away on Sunday. But what I couldn’t foresee was the reason for the fall out.

We had a great time. I had so much fun sitting around the campsite. The kids played at the playground, shopped at the camp store. We played “redneck horseshoes” and sat around under the awning of the camper drinking beer and talking. We worked together at mealtimes – Bobby cooked on the grill and I fixed  the rest. And we talked and there were times I think Bobby let his guard down and I could see the guy beneath the tough exterior.

So why did the tears begin to flow as I drove away? I didn’t know to be honest with you. It took me a few days just to put my thoughts together and sort through my feelings.

The conclusion I’ve come to, the reason I’m upset, is that we had so much fun. Really, Elisabeth, how is having fun a problem? Because it wasn’t real, it was just an illusion. The truth is this weekend shined a light on what’s missing in my life – a partner. Someone to fill the traditional role of a man in my life. Someone to share the day to day chores and joys of life with. For two days we were playing at “happy family” and I loved it.

The truth is that Bobby is not my Mr. Right, he isn’t IT for me, for a number of tangible reasons.

Most days I’m okay with being single, most days I can do it myself, most days I’m happy in my role of single mom. But some days I just wish there was someone on my side, someone to light the grill, stand up for me when the kids talk about stepmom and someone to answer the call to go pick up the kids from the playground when it starts raining.

I’m not saying I need a man to complete me, I’m just saying it was nice to have one to compliment me.

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6 comments

  1. LOL…I totally know that feeling…they ARE there to compliment you aren’t they…I mean come on…we are pretty complete already! Ha!


  2. What a great way of putting it! And I’m sorry that he’s not going to be able to be that man for you.


  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Mr Right will come along when you least expect him….or so I’ve been told.


  4. I love that you are able to distinguish between the “complete” and “compliment” of you. And you not allowing yourself into a relationship that deep down you know is not the right one, I applaud you for that as well. Stay strong, a good catch like you doesn’t stay single for ever, unless she wants to.


  5. I’m sorry. I know the feeling. No matter how much I tell myself that I’m happy being single, there are times that some little thing makes me cry and wish I had someone.


  6. Last summer after a week of cottaging with my son and my “friend” Jamie, I cried as I watched him drive away, on his way home.
    I didn’t even see it coming — it just happened.
    I hadn’t even realized that I’d had that strong of an emotional connection with him while he was there.
    I was taken aback more than I can even describe.

    I look back now and I think maybe it was my response to thinking he might be right for me — even when I was sure he wasn’t. Being afraid that I’d passed up on THE guy for me. Afraid that I might never see him again.

    He’s proved me wrong a million and a half times since then.



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