He isn’t Mr. Right

June 25, 2009

We broke up. I had written about all the reasons we cannot be together. I wrote the post, I just couldn’t put it up. I spent last week in tears, my head knowing we shouldn’t be together but my heart longing to hear the sound of his voice.

For the last 6 weeks when I left work on Friday he would call and we would finalize our plan for the night. This Friday afternoon all I could do was cry, I missed him. I  made plans to meet my mother for some shopping therapy and then I was going out dancing with my girlfriends. I was sitting at the table, having dinner with my mother when he called. For a moment I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t.

“I miss you.”

We had made plans for the weekend, before the breakup. There was an all weekend party at his friends house and we were supposed to be there together, now he was there alone. He wanted me to come to the party.

“Okay… no… I just don’t know…”

I went. All the reasons I care about him, they are still there. But all the reasons we cannot be together, they are still there.  He doesn’t fit into my world. And I don’t fit in his.

My head knows it’s best this way, I need to stay away from him. But my heart keeps reminding me how good he was to me, how good he was to the kids. How do I convince my heart to follow my head?


One comment

  1. I’m sorry. You’re smart and you know what you need to do, but either way I know it’s not easy.

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